Dear Diary,
It’s January 15, 2010 at 3:45am.
I am up and cannot sleep.
Too much is on my mind and I look to work it out on paper. I’ve been looking at the images of Haiti, and I cannot stop weeping. There are few moments of relief. I see a child being rescued, reunited with a surviving parent. Or, I turn the page to see rescue teams have flown in from Mexico, Taiwan, or Italy to provide aid, rescue, and relief. I am saddened that it takes a tragedy to unite the world, but uplifted — that it does.
I’ve always been utterly aware of the brevity and the precariousness of life. One cannot lose their mother and grandfather as a young teenager without loss forever searing ones’ heart. I suppose that is why I have been accused many times of being too serious (or intense) but it’s in these images of Haiti when I remember why- all can be lost in a blink of an eye. Another reminder, to remember, what is important in life.
We concern ourselves in New York about having more— things. We looked to be in the right restaurants, get into the newest venues, to make a name for ourselves, to make our mark, or just to make more money. But to me, that isn’t so important, all of that has always been just play pretend, Acting. I would rather plan PTA meetings then parties at nightclubs. I would rather love just one man, then have many lovers, and I know after seeing a father pull his daughter out of the rubble into his arms, his tears of joy, as she was alive, that there is only one thing that matters in this life and that is love, and I wish everyone I knew had more of it, and wasn’t so frightened of it. (Especially you, my sweet Willoughby).
Beso- M
