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//DDD//Let Go

Written by Maya Contreras, Editor-in-Chief, The DDD.

I woke up this morning trying to remember things that I’ve done in the past that have brought me happiness, or rather, a sense of freedom. 

Running a business, this magazine, has it’s brief moments of artistic freedom and expression, but it is mostly coordination, writing emails, constantly being on the phone (I caught my boyfriend contemplating throwing my blackberry out of a window) organizing interviews, running to photoshoots, or asking for forgiveness from a vendor when a bill cannot be paid on time. Day in and day out it can weigh heavily on me.

Under that weight, I have realized that I have forgotten how to let go. Let go of expectations, let go of stress, let go of worry. 

Which brings me to Grace Jones. 

I switched on my Pandora station after getting out of bed, and My Jamaican Guy came pouring out. I began to laugh as a flood of memories came rushing over me. 

During my eight grade talent show in Albuquerque, New Mexico I knew that I wanted to do a dance routine. My mother brought me to one of her friends’ houses who had an extensive record collection. As I began to dig through one of the crates I saw an album with a beautiful and ferocious black woman with a piece of white tape over her left eye like a boxer that had been cut during a fight.

“I want to dance to a song from this album.” I said looking at my mother’s friend Bob. 

“You haven’t even heard a song from it yet.”  Bob said looking incredulous, “But I tell you what, that’s a good fucking choice.”

I put on Side A, Track one, and was sold on it right away. There was strength in the music, and a dominance in her voice. “This one, I will dance to this one, My Jamaican Guy.” I said defiantly.  

I danced in the living room with my mother and Bob singing the lyrics, “Take a toke from the smoke.” (I didn’t have any idea what she was talking about, but it sounded good.)

A month later, I was in my eight-grade auditorium. I had picked out blue flood lights to accent my all white dance outfit. I mimicked some of the modern dance moves Ms. Jones had used in her video. 

Under those lights I felt the freedom of movement, of expression. I felt brave, I felt like me. 

It’s so easy to become clouded with ambition, the ideas of success. To get caught up in the noise in your head. I would like to get back to that place of letting go, and maybe remembering to dance. 

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