The DirtyDurty Diary

The Morning is Wiser than the Night

Sometimes when giving advice to my friends, I find myself turning into my mother.

“Thank God there is no such thing as debtors’ prison.” She would say when pouring over the bills on the kitchen table or, “Well, you can’t squeeze blood from a rock.” Meaning if you’re broke you’re broke, might as well enjoy the day and not stress out about bill collectors knocking on your door. A solution will come.

My mother would always try to lend comfort in a few succinct words, and I find myself looking to do the same these days for my friends who are struggling with debt, relationship issues, or generally the hectic pace of New York.

“Patience is the key.” I said to one of my girl friends over drinks at Stanton Social. “You can’t force any situation, especially when it comes to love.” I continued while my friend wondered why the gait of her relationship was moving at a glacier pace.

I think back again to what my mother said to me when my first crush, well, crushed me. “Maya, Love is messy, because, Life is messy, and Life is Love.”

A great deal of my friends live in New York and we sometimes long for order and solitude in a city of chaos and where privacy is not seeing the man in the building across from you entirely naked. We look to find a sense of control in a time of recession and where relationships become strained because of it.

“You can’t control anything, except how you deal with situation.” I found myself telling another friend, knowing that advice had been handed down to me by many generations.

That philosophy was put to the test this weekend when my purse was stolen. ID, credit card, make up, gone. My friends thought I was oddly calm. “Well, at least I still have my phone.” I said, feigning tranquility. Yet, when another friend (who is the bartender at the bar where it was stolen) asked me what happened I rained fire on him, “In seven years, SEVEN YEARS I’ve been in New York, I’ve never had my purse stolen!” I said pointing my finger at him.   He looked sternly at me, disappointed that I would have lashed out at him.

“The morning is wiser then the night.” My mother would say to me. It was a line out of my favorite fairy tale growing up “Baba Yaga.”

I thought about that advice when I woke up next day. I knew I owed him an apology. Luckily he accepted it.

I also think about that saying when I want to do something rash at night. When I feel so passionate about something or someone and want to act on it- those words go through my head causing me to think “If I am still so desirous in the morning, then I will act on it.” And usually, I am not. Along with the sunlight comes much need clarity.

 “Someday Maya, you will see what’s truly important in Life.” My mother said when as a young teenager I felt my life was lacking in material goods.

She was right. If only we were smart enough to heed the sage advice (sooner than later) imparted by those that have been in the trenches, who have taken the time to give life a decent thought and impart some knowledge.

I know what is important to me now and I’m OK with letting go of control, even if things get a little messy.

The Him Book on sale as an eBook now at http://www.maya-contreras.com